I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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