MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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