you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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