ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
