So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
