There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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