why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
