After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
