I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
