Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
