For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize