my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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