Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
