: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize