Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
