Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
