Need sex. Gaining weight.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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