Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
