Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
