I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
