Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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