She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
