We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
