Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
