You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize