he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
