loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
