Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
