he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
