So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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