I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
