so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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