sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm sobbing to NWA
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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