If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
