Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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