My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
