Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Enjoy the penises
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
