So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
