I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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