just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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