Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
