Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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