your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize