Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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