hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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