But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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