On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
