he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
