Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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