Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The air taste purple.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
