glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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