these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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