I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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