That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
