Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
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