apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
