it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
